A few weeks ago, I was talking to a friend of mine about condom usage.  I’m strictly in the “no glove, no love” camp, regardless of whether or not I’m using an oral contraceptive (i.e. the pill).  I don’t care if it doesn’t feel as good for him; the pummeling he’d get to the face and crotch should I end up with an STI or pregnant would be MUCH MUCH worse than a “little” reduced sensation.  The war cry would go something like, “I’ll GIVE you something to feel there, asshole!” Plus, birth control pills are expensive, and can wreak serious havoc with a girl’s mind and body — and they’re certainly not infallible.

My pal, on the other hand, will often skip the rubber if the lucky lady is on the pill, and goes for the pull out method — the rationale is not due to a lack of faith in modern science, but rather because, apparently, he has a paranoid theory that all of the women he sleeps with desperately want to bear his child, and would skip a pill to achieve this life goal!  Setting aside his weird issues with the women he sleeps with for a moment, the fact of the matter is he’s leaving the real onus of birth control and their related costs — not to mention his health & safety –  to the ladies.  I think I can state with confidence that he’s not gallantly offering to pay half of a year’s supply.

Let’s face it, safe sex and avoiding unwanted pregnancies are everyone’s responsibility.  And I think every person should have some emergency stash of condoms tucked away somewhere convenient in their home (important: don’t forget where you put them.  Ahem.  Not that it’s ever happened to me.).  But what happens if you always end up staying at the other-half-of-the-relationship’s place and continually use up his economy size box of condoms?  Or if you are part of a couple that puts their trust in medical advances and rely solely on the pill, who fronts the costs in those scenarios?

I think if you found you’d been staying at his or her place for all of your marathon sex sessions, most partners would be touched by the gesture of a box of condoms (wrapped with a bow, naturally).  Alternatively, you can always text him pre-date and tell him to grab some if you’re fed up with always having to make the drugstore run last minute.  But that still doesn’t address the question of cost.  Who bears the brunt?  Without generalizing too much or subjecting men to the archetype of impulsive hedonist, I suppose this line of reasoning never factors into the minds of men, because the opportunity to get laid is, as Vito Corleone from The Godfather would say, “an offer he can’t refuse.”  Still, if we’re entertaining this idea, I’d feel really weird about going dutch (i.e. 50/50) on condoms, it’s either all you or all me…not both.  It gets even weirder just thinking about asking a guy to chip in for medication (i.e. the pill) that a) regulates highly personal bodily functions, and b) can make me slightly crazier than usual.  It’d be kind of sweet to get the offer, I guess, but it would unnecessarily occasion an awkward conversation about money and sex!  Still, contraceptives and/or birth control options shouldn’t be something only half of the relationship has to worry about.  But interestingly, or not so interestingly, the typical pre-sex dance goes something like this:

So, what is the modern and equal way to split the cost of contraceptives?  Is it even a question?  Is the cost split 50/50 by ladies taking the pill (approximately $10/month, $120/year) and guys bringing the condoms (approximately $7-20/box of 12)?  I’m curious to hear your thoughts!

In the meantime, you’ll be glad to know that in these tough economic times Toronto has some great spots to stock up on condoms for free!  Refer to the list below.  According to Mushy Pony, for the first 6 on the list, “you can help yourself, and take as many as you want — all without anybody noticing.”

NOTE: you’ll have to supply your own jellies, creams, toys, and etc., as these items are generally considered “optional”.

1. Hassle Free Clinics. 66 Gerrard St E   Guys: (416) 922-0603  Girls: (416) 922-0560
www.hasslefreeclinic.org

2.The Bay Centre for Birth Control. 790 Bay St. 8^th Floor.  Girls only (416) 351-3700
www.womenshealthmatters.ca

3.The Anne Johnson Health Station. 2398 Yonge St.  (416) 486-8666 www.ajhs.ca

4.The House 36B Prince Arthur. (416) 927-7171

5. U of T (for their students, but available in the waiting room!) Koffler Student Services Building at College and St George (214 College, 2^nd Floor) (416) 978-8030
www.healthservice.utoronto.ca

6. Ryerson University W181 West Kerr Hall. 350 Victoria St. Entrance on Gerrard St E
(416) 979-5070  www.ryerson.ca/studentservices/medicalcentre.

7. List of Toronto Public Health Sexual Health Clinics, which offer the following services:

• Birth control counselling
• Low cost or free birth control
• Free condoms
• Plan B (emergency contraceptive pill)
• STI testing and free treatment
• HIV testing
• Pregnancy testing, counselling and referral
• Sexuality and relationship counselling